so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
