I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My feet surprised me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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