I want to make a zoo with you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
