i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How external is "for external use only"?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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