I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
