I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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