I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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