Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
