uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
