Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize