winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
