It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
