Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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