I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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