I heard we made out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
