lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
