Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
