do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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