Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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