She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
