im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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