There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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