just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
