she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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