her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
