Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
