I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize