he wants to bone in the snuggie
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
