So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
