i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
