So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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