i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
