there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
