mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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