I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize