White coat. Heels.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
