Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
