I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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