What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
