Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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