i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He told me they were just razor bumps!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
