no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
