Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Buhtt sex?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
