I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
