my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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