so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You're like the curious george of whores
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize