You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
