I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
