I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
