ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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