Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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