i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
