First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
