white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize