Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
